Gatekeeping
- Leigh-Ann
- Dec 20, 2024
- 2 min read
Today I came across a tiktok video by one of my favourite creators. She’s a 70 year old woman who lives a sort of vintage life, and she share’s wisdom and her life on TikTok. She dresses in entirely vintage clothes as well, and wears these beautiful nightgowns. Apparently she gets a lot of requests as to where she buys them, and today she shared, she started by saying she doesn’t gatekeep information and she’s happy to share exactly where she got them. It was like a lightbulb turned on. I grew up with this attitude of gatekeeping. I always felt like some in my family thought they were cooler. I’ve always felt like my family was subtly competitive, but I’m realizing the attitude was more like gatekeeping, they would kind of hide certain things they thought I wasn’t cool enough for. It was more of an attitude then a direct insult. They wanted cool things for themselves and they didn’t want me to like or have those same “things”, and when I did there was sort of a quiet attitude that the cool thing was no longer cool, whether it was music or clothes or talents, or experiences. I was made to feel like I wasn’t worthy. I’ve said it before but my thinking now is that liking things is not an accomplishment. And why? Why not share with others freely? Why hoard good things. I think it stems from insecurity. I want people to enjoy things, and I love finding things I enjoy in common with others.
Here is the definition of gatekeeping:
The activity of trying to control who gets particular resources, power, or opportunities, and who does not: We are seeing the decline of cultural gatekeeping— the control over what is deemed worthy exerted by critics, educators, and so forth.
It’s a toxic attitude and it’s the opposite of generous, its an ugly attitude of making people feel unworthy. And it’s an attitude I need to watch for in myself and it’s certainly a red flag in others. Unless you’re the creator of the “things” you really have no ownership, anyone can and should be free to like things, try things and enjoy things. Being more generous is the attitude I strive for, being generous doesn’t include gatekeeping.
Linked below is the TikTok video mentioned, go give this sweet lady a follow, she really is a breath of fresh air.
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