Presence in the sadness.

I grew up with the bible, and some things I read growing up make sense to me now, like this scripture:

“It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, for death is the destiny of everyone; the living should take this to heart.”

As a young person this scripture seemed backwards, having a good time is…..well a good time.

But as an adult who has had many challenges and losses this bit of the bible makes sense now.

It’s easy to be around people in a perfectly staged setting, when they’ve got it all together, or during a happy season. It’s easy to be there during a good time, it’s much harder to sit with others as they grieve and weep and ugly cry. But those are the times people need presence most. Everyone loves to be there for a party, but often as humans we grieve alone. Grief is something we all have in common, but humans often feel awkward around heavy feelings.

Being present when someone is weeping is a privilege, it’s incredibly vulnerable to express pain in the presence of others, our first instinct often is to hide our pain. Crying in the presence of others takes some trust, offering trust and safety is exactly what those who grieve or are sad need. The awkward feelings happen when we feel the need to fix things. When I am sad or grieving I don’t want to be fixed, I want to know I’m not alone, I want another humans presence. The knowledge another person is there and has felt pain too.

Don’t we all want that….presence in the good times….and the bad times, I certainly want that, and I also want to aim to be that for others.